i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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