you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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