you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
