4 words: hood of his car
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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