JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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