YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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