Redeem this text for a blowjob
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
