sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
