Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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