I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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