Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
