once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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