I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
