We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
