Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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