I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize