My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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