Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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