at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
