shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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