So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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