You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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