My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
