wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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