Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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