When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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