She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
