It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
