Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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