Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
