Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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