he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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