There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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