just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
