how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
