2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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