this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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