great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
