i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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