I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
