Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
