I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
