Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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