Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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