South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
