let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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