Sponge bath it is.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
