dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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