I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You are a genius and a whore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
