none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
