: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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