apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
