he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i need some magic done to my vagina
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
