I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.