Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.