Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.