You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
