he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize