when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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