@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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