You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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