it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
