So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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