You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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